Maybe the key to success is not focusing on succeeding like we’ve been led to believe, but rather by simply doing the next right thing.

My son recently told me about a life-changing book he was reading called The 7 Levels of Communication by Michael J. Maher. Mr. Maher lives by this anacronym:

L – Learn

I – Implement

F – Fail

E – Evaluate

In like manner, all of the following quotes are from successful people who were once just like me – a nobody with a passion. They were criticized, told they were stupid, told they didn’t have what it takes; many were penniless and bankrupt in both pocket and spirit. And yet they pressed forward. Why? Because they couldn’t stop themselves. An inner drive kept them going when the world told them to stop.

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.” ~ Samuel Beckett

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.”  ~ Confucius

“Great success is built on failure, frustration, even catastrophe.” ~ Sumner Redstone

“Failing is one of the greatest arts in the world. One fails toward success.” ~ Charles Kettering

“Failure provides the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently.” ~ Henry Ford

“The fastest way to succeed is to double your failure rate.” ~ Thomas Watson Sr.

“Only those who dare to fail greatly can achieve greatly.” ~ Robert F. Kennedy

“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot … and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. That is why I succeed.” ~ Michael Jordan

“I never learned a thing from a tournament I won.” ~ Bobby Jones

“Our achievements speak for themselves. What we have to keep track of are our failures, discouragements, and doubts. We tend to forget the past difficulties, the many false starts, and the painful groping. We see our past achievements as the end result of a clean forward thrust, and our present difficulties as signs of decline and decay.” ~ Eric Hoffer

“Flops are a part of life’s menu and I’ve never been a girl to miss out on any of the courses.” ~ Rosalind Russell

“The essential part of creativity is not being afraid to fail.” ~ Edwin Land

“I don’t believe I have special talents, I have persistence … After the first failure, second failure, third failure, I kept trying.” ~ Carlo Rubbia, Nobel Prize-winning  Physicist

“Every great cause is born from repeated failures and from imperfect achievements.”  ~ Maria Montessori

“No matter how hard you work for success, if your thought is saturated with the fear of failure, it will kill your efforts, neutralize your endeavors and make success impossible.” ~ Baudjuin

“Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune, but great minds rise above them.” ~ Washington Irving (The above quotes were taken from But They Did Not Give Up, found at https://www.uky.edu/~eushe2/Pajares/OnFailingG.html, with many thanks.)

So, once again I ask, what is the key to success? As hard as it is to believe, failure seems to be the common consensus. Or rather, the guts to get back up after failure. Maybe failure is a necessary stepping stone. We step, we slip, we fall. We get back up and try for a better foothold. We may slip and fall again, but each time we get back up. We rethink and readjust, and step again. Eventually, we find ourselves teetering instead of instantly falling. That’s improvement. As we keep at it, we keep our balance a little longer as we build core muscles. And eventually, we have the strength and balance to step from stone to stone. First tentatively, then confidently, and eventually effortlessly.

The difficult part of this process for me is that it happens over and over again, in multiple areas of my life, over a lifetime. It’s not a one-time event. Every time I dare to dream, those desires take me to a place I’ve never been before which means more tries, more mistakes, more learning, more rethinking, more readjusting.

But, isn’t that life? What is life without a reason to get up in the morning? What inspires us but the challenge to succeed? To create something beautiful? To accomplish something noble? To bend and stretch and dance to our own tune? To hit higher notes and dig deeper and reach farther and see clearer? A cause worth fighting for.

We all have it. Some of us have several.

It’s what makes us tick. It makes us who we are and the reason God put us on this earth. It’s our reason for making a difference and our own unique way of making it happen.

“A ship in harbor is safe – but that is not what ships are for.” (John A. Shedd in Dream Big by Todd Wilson)

“Most people live and die with their music still unplayed. They never dare to try.” (Mary Kay Ash in Dream Big by Todd Wilson)

“Of all the people I have ever known, those who have pursued their dreams and failed have lived a much more fulfilling life than those who have put their dreams on a shelf for fear of failure.” (Author Unknown in Dream Big by Todd Wilson)

“What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do.” (Julia Cameron)

“Failure has a way of liberating you from superficiality.” (from the movie, Coffee Shop, directed by Kevin Sorbo)

“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” (George Bernard Shaw in Dream Big by Todd Wilson)

“The place God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” (Frederick Buechner)

Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor whose entire family was killed, including his 24-year-old wife, went on to write A Man’s Search for Meaning. He says, “He who knows the why for his existence…will be able to bear almost any how,” and, “Man’s main concern is not to gain pleasure or to avoid pain but rather to see a meaning in his life.” Viktor reminds us that there’s no mountain too great when you have a reason to climb. (Viktor Frankl: How Love got Him Through @ Life Stories)

“If you think you’ve blown God’s plan for your life, rest in this: You, my beautiful friend, are not that powerful.” (Lisa Bevere #WithoutRival)

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” (Bernice Johnson Reagon)

God hardwired us to make a difference. Our contribution matters. Our efforts, even though often unrewarded, matter. So, don’t cheat yourself or the world out of your gift. Shine in the darkness; be the voice of reason in the midst of chaos; be the calm in the eye of the storm.

What is success?

This is my definition: Success is being the best version of me and using my passion to make a difference. When persistence fails, ingenuity finds a way. It’s not so much what I do, but why I do it and how I do it. That’s why I’m writing this blog; not because I have all the answers, but because I will never give up trying to find them.

What is your definition of success?

“Every day God invites us to go on an adventure. It’s not a trip where He sends us a rigid itinerary, He simply invites us. God asks what it is He’s made us to love, what it is that captures our attention, what feeds that deep indescribable need of our souls to experience the richness of the world He made. And then, leaning over us, He whispers, “Let’s go do that together.'” (Bob Goff)

As I was tossing and turning in bed this morning, groaning that the sun dared to peak its cheery face into my window at such an ungodly hour, I had an epiphany: Success is relative.

Case in point: Yesterday I failed to find a solution to my lighting dilemma, but I succeeded in something I wasn’t even trying to do. In my frustration, I wrote another blog post.

That’s usually what happens to me. I don’t wake up one morning full of vigor and inspiration and write a dazzling post that will amaze my readers. I wake up sleep-deprived, grouchy as all heck, lost in feelings of failure, wondering why God’s keeping me alive another day. Then, in an attempt to find footing in my spinning world, I sit down at the computer and write something totally illegible in my effort to vent.

After my emotional vomit has splattered onto the page, I go back over it just to make sure I haven’t missed a spot. I further my venting because once is never enough. At the same time, I tweak it a bit. Then I go back over it again because surely I missed a few points I want to further complain about, and I refine it a bit more. This process is like a criminal returning to the scene of a crime, unable to let it go. It’s horrific, yet beautiful at the same time.

After another dozen or so do-overs, I realize what I’m feeling and experiencing is probably common to mankind and probably worth sharing because someone can probably relate. And BAM. Another post is miraculously added to my blog.

Have you noticed God working like this in your life? You set out on a mission. You’ve got this. You know what you’re doing. You’ve done your homework. Stunning results are in the bag. And then life happens.

What the heck? you find yourself asking. What went wrong? Why do things always go wrong for me? What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with the universe? I thought I had this but somehow some undefinable, undetectable, invisible little urchin just stole what should have been mine!

Sorry to say, wisdom and insight and answers don’t usually come when things are going well; they come when they aren’t.

I’m learning to take these events as they come, as part of God’s bigger plan for my life. I don’t know why things have to be so difficult for me when they seem so easy for others. I can’t answer all the whys. All I can do is push through one more time, do what seems right at the time, and trust that God has it all in his capable hands – my mistakes as well as my victories. Especially my mistakes. Have you ever noticed how God seems to like mistakes?

It seems as though He says, “Yes. I was waiting for that, Diane! I saw it coming even though you didn’t and I used special care in crafting a way through it that will bring you closer to me and my design for your life.

“Sweet daughter, you find it so easy to veer from my perfect will for you. I know the temptations you face. But you’re looking at the wrong things and that’s why you stumble. Look up. Focus on me. I’m not daunted by your mistakes. Rather, I like them. They decompose into the manure I use to enrich the garden I’m planting in you.

“Mistakes and failure are your friends so embrace them as the learning tools I intend them to be. Nothing is ever wasted in my economy. I have more than enough. I AM more than enough. You need never look to any other source for love and joy and success than Me.

“I love working miracles just for your benefit. Your tears, and yes, even your screams of frustration, are endearing to me. I would rather see your wrath than your complacency. I adore the life that bubbles from every emotion you feel. I feel it, too. Remember that I came to earth, not only to save your soul from the death that separated us but to experience all you experience so I can say, “I’ve been there. I hurt, too, you know. I felt pain and loneliness and scorn and rejection and injustice. I got tired and experienced sleepless nights when I had more expected of me than I could humanly deliver. I get it because I’ve been there.

“So, stop beating yourself up. I love you and that’s all that matters. Fear? Failure? Mistakes? Regrets? They’re nothing. But the spunk and tenacity they develop in you? That’s priceless.

“I gave you emotions for a reason. Use them to your advantage and lighten up while you do so. I’d love to hear you say, “Well, that didn’t go as planned. I wonder what God has up his sleeve? Because I know my Heavenly Father has an awesome plan for using all the twists and turns my life has taken. Forget an easy, predictable life. Anyone can do that. I’m up for an amazing road trip with the master of adventure. So, bring it on, God!'”

I admit those were not my thoughts after months of unsuccessfully trying everything I could to solve my lighting issues with the wheel center hub caps. But maybe it should have been. When I woke up yesterday morning and said, “Today I am going to solve this lighting issue,” maybe I should have asked God, “What do you want to accomplish in me and through me today?” Because my plans failed. I’m no closer to a solution than I was yesterday morning. However, I successfully wrote two more blog posts. Maybe that was the real agenda all along.

I went to bed feeling like a failure. God watched me go to bed and said, “Yes. She did it! Good for you, girl.”

Somehow I need to get on the same page as God. I’d save myself a lot of anxiety if I did.